I just heard that Jen Sacks' Nice is going to be made into a movie. So my reaction went through about three stages in less than five seconds. It started as "OH HOLY CRAP YES!" degenerated into "But, wait the fuck up, self, it's Hollywood." and then, "....OH HELL NO! STEP OFF MY BOOK, HOLLYWOOD!"  And as I read on, yes, Reese Witherspoon is being considered for the lead role. Well, there goes Captain Hollywood himself, back from another productive day of raping my childhood memories to even further degrees.

I've been in a really strange mood lately. I'm very depressed, but it's not the weepy sort of depressed. Rather, I'm sad and I don't want to get out of bed, but at the same time I'm completely angry. I don't even know, you guys. When I get like this I usually start listening to the heaviest death/thrash/black metal I can find because fast music can really calm me down sometimes, but even that isn't working. It all sounds so...slow. And yes, technically I can feel my ear drums being liquefied by the super fast beats, but I still keep thinking, "This is what all those hardcore metal heads keep worshipping the devil to? Pansies." 

And, uh, I know this is going to sound kind of paranoid, but am I the only one worried about the swine flu? I think I've heard that you can take some sort of medication to make it better, but still. All I keep thinking is that this is how it starts in all the movies. First, it's a little sickness that everyone thinks is nothing. Then it spreads and, before you know it, MOTHERFUCKING ZOMBIES.

And since I'm already talking about all sorts of things, guys how fucking awesome is HD programming? I mean, I recently bought an HDTV, but I only got it for the size because I only have regular cable. And then my mom found this special for Comcast HD and HOLY COW. I just keep marveling at how pretty everything looks. Seriously, sometimes there's not even anything good on and I'll just keep watching ridiculous programming on the Sci Fi channel about giant alligators bent on destroying the world. Shit, crappy tv is EVEN BETTER  in HD. Stupidity isn't nearly as painful to sit through when you can see the individual hairs on someone's head. Then you don't even notice that everyone in the movie is a jackass and completely retarded. SEE, AMERICA, HDTV SOLVES EVERYTHING.

I bet Legend of the Seeker must seem like a fucking masterpiece in HD.

I've also heard about that K-Hanadan music video/epilogue that's coming out. My feelings on this go somewhere between, "The mocking potential for this seems GLORIOUS." and "Wow, South Korea, still latching onto the teat of that cash cow, I see."

I'm still going to watch it. Yes, I know, I have a problem.

So my cousin has recently gotten into Twilight. And by "gotten into" I mean that she's gone crazy. I thought it would have lightened up after the movie came out, but now my mom gave her the fourth book for Christmas (which I will never forgive her for) and the obsession has doubled. It's all Edward this and Edward that and "Oh, if only I could find a boy like him....someday". To which I say:and then I'd have to go by a gun because there's no way I'm gonna have some creepy 100-year old pervert watch you while your sleep.

But my humor isn't appreciated.

--and she corners me in the kitchen to talk about Twilight. Mostly because I'm the only one besides her mom who can speak English in the house, but still! She went to Orlando for the weekend so it's not Twilight so much anymore, but mark my words, I'll get it when she come back. MARK MY WORDS.


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